Used abused confused and stuck

A little part of me wonders, no, is absolutely sure that she is only being pursued in some relationships because they have become very convenient. And another part of me doesn't mind at all, because it's convenient for her too. But these relationships have years of history, it's too much to throw away over speculation.

The night before last, I dreamed that I called my father, but right when he answered someone beeped through. I took that call and forgot about my dad. He texted me requesting that I never call him again. My father can be really mean to people he loves.

Then last night I dreamed I was pregnant. I was more worried about how much having the baby was gonna hurt than I was about how much my life was gonna change. I've never dreamed that I actually had the stomach and everything, it was pretty real. I had to check when I woke up.

Yesterday I went to the secret beach with Tracie, Jackson, Alec and Justin. I only wanted to go with the first two, because that was it could be more chill, but instead it was an "aDVEnTurr". I was a little peeves at first but I tried to put a smile on my face. I dont like it when I plan something because I think it will be one way, and then it enda up being another way but Im stuck dojng it cause they were my plans. I like Justin and Alec a lot, but I think they're tired of me. Fine, I'm tired of them too.

But all and all yesterday was fantastic. Today should be too, and the rest of my fourday weekend. I hope ta finish my roll of film.