Papa don't preach

I lied to my parents when I was younger, and I never really thought it was that bad. But later in life for a while, I saw nothing wrong with lying about what I was doing, because I wasn't doing anything wrong. And what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them

A note to parents everywhere: don't say no to your kids just because you can. You wonder why your teenagers are rebellious and disobedient... It's because you guys are controlling and manipulative. It's really fucked up and it fucks us up long term.

Throughout the course of history, if you haven't noticed, people have tended to want the things that they cannot have or are hard to obtain. Silk. Gold. Royal status. Beauty. Meat on your bones, and later when food was abundant, we switched to wanting nothing more than to look like we don't eat at all.

So when we can't stay out past 1, or choose our own diet, never get the chance to experiment with adult situations, when you are still there to sweep up our shit, we have to teach ourselves to become adults and accredit our intellectual independence to ourselves

Honestly that's not what I came here to say, but I thought that was worth mentioning.

What I came here to say, is a message to everyone in the world, lying is wrong and please don't do it.

It is a sign of cowardice. It hurts you. It hurts those you lie to. It hurts those you lie about.

So why do we do it?

A very good friend of mine is struggling with the idea of confronting her long time boyfriend (who she very much loves) about the fact that she has a very close guy friend who she loves spending time with, and has no romantic intentions with. (familliar, Amalie?) She swears if she says anything, he will get mad at her and forbid her from hanging out with him. Because she hasn't talked to him, though, she'll never know for sure, and it's because she is afraid of being honest. Because she is afraid of facing the trust problem her and her man have.

We lie because we are afraid of dealing with the truth.

Lying is the kind of problem that it is, because it's widespread. People forgive people who lie, because it is such an easy thing to do, so everyone does it. And we'd be hypocritical if we made a big deal about it.

But fuck that. Lies don't alter reality, they mask them. When people recover from being lied to, they figure this out, and make themselves feel better about the Lügen and the the Lügerei.

note: in German, Lügen are the lies themselves, whereas Lügerei is the act of lying. English, for whatever reason, doesn't have one word for the act of lying. When admonishing a liar, English speakers are then more inclined to admonish an individual lie rather than the act of lying. Perhaps this linguistic gap is partially responsible for the lack of stigma in our country.

I feel weird leavin this entry at this. I hate lies and I hate the act of lying. I have lied before and I hate that fucking coward part of myself more than I hate any other part of me. I am in a relationship that started on some rocky ground because of a couple of lies, told because my lover and I were afraid of losing each other, and a year later (see last post) I am only beginning to feel at peace. This Kampf has opened the lines of communication between myself and the person who 50% of my total communication is with. There are no lies, and in the last little while, that has carried over into the rest of my life.

Being lied to is tough, because I don't feel I (or anyone else for that matter) deserves it. But if somehow, I could share with everyone else in the world, or really anyone else in the world, what the beauty of trust and honesty has showed me, I feel it would be a better world.

I am so lucky to have the love that I do in my life. It shines hope on literally every other aspect.