Number one idle.

This just in: excluding detail is no easier on the conscience than lying.
It's amazing how we rationalize our decisions with technicality, like it's a fucking game. I quit.
It hurts being selfless. But sometimes it hurts not to be.
I'm selfishly selfless.

And I've made changes, the right kind. And I'm gonna be happy. And I already am.
But part of me is healing. And there's not much more I can say about it.

Today my friend Christopher asked me what women want.
First I told him, I don't know, ask a woman.
But then I thought for a minute.
Not too long ago I developed a smell fundamental set of ideal circumstances for myself, not to expect but to live toward.

1. I want to be able to be many places at once.
2. I want there to always be something to do.
3. I want there to always be someone to do it with.

power, pleasure, positive regard. I don't know if that's what women want, but that's what I want.
I don't think anyone would complain about having any of those things.

I learned something recently courtesy ted.com that might just change my life forever. And that is, that happiness is synthetic. The human mind is conditioned to adapt extremely well to situations, and make the best of what it's dealt.
That makes me incredibly optimistic. You're telling me that next week I could be confronted with my worse fears, the most traumatic situations and soon, I'd be fine.
How does this not make you leap out of your seat?

Science has proved it, everything is gonna be alright. This is nuts. This is MAD.

Also.
Decided today sex doesn't matter till you're in love.

Gonna start writing more.