Fate implies means, and means implies ends.

I know I should probably be spending this chunk of the two and a half hours I have before class more wisely than on a blog entry, but my mind has been infiltrated with thoughts and if I don't get them down and out, I won't be able to process anything else today.

Hello collectivity.

Hello bottom-up implementation of societal norms.

Hello web.

I read something very tangible to me today on facebook, of all places.

To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

I want to delve a little deeper into a specific idea in this quote, and that is the presence of fate.

Let's just talk about the idea of fate.

Fate is defined as "the development of events beyond ones control."

Most of the time, we look at this definition and see "beyond ones control" and if there is any discrepancy with the idea of fate it lies there. Most of the time.

This time, I want to look at the former excerpt, "the development."

Fate is not an end. It's not the hindsight, or the recollection. It's the development.

Fate is the means.

Fate implies means, and means implies ends.

Humans are crazy, crazy creatures. It doesn't take something happening to gather emotions about it, or feelings toward it. It just takes the materialization of the idea.

We are creatures who get by on suppression. Sometimes we are faced with foresight and intuition that we don't like. We get by because we have conditioned ourselves into mastering the art of suppression.

I have, anyway. Maybe I shouldn't speak for all of us.

And it doesn't make me better. That makes me worse.

But who likes to think about the end?

Who likes to think about demise and cessation?

I'm not strong enough.

To believe in fate takes a strength that I don't have.

I am too free.

So here we go: I don't believe in an end, really.

I believe in unity.

I believe everything emulates a brain.

Connections, connections, connections.

Look at the world, at how we operate on a day-to-day basis.

What are you doing RIGHT now? If you're reading this, you're on a computer screen which is connected to a bunch of hardware which is connected to wires which are connected to a wall.

The progress of the world is the exponential growth in connections.

That's beautiful.

Since the beginning of time, we've been trying to make things a little easier. To create order out of chaos, so to speak. This chaotic mess that we're in that some like to call earth, is one big brain that's right in the the middle of evolving.

All of the brains in the world, in the history of humanity, have been collectively working to make...

a big fucking brain.

So what are we? And what's inside our brains that we can't see?

It always goes back to identity with me, doesn't it?

Oldie but a goodie.

somebody get me out of this box, before I lose dimension and become a square,
I'll fall flat to the ground just like I was never there.

somebody take me to the clouds, give me some perspective, to help me see
that I am but a tiny ant, and the higher I get the closer you are to me.

somebody take me far away, engage me while we're on the interstate.
take me somewhere undisclosed so i don't notice we're driving in figure 8's.

somebody just take control, hold my hand and show me where to go.
I have no ambition or direction, i just know I can't so this on my own.

remind me again why I'm still here,
why I'm a balloon tied to the table. who the hell is on my shoelace and why am I unable
to float away? why wait another year?

I'll abandon it all and reach out my hands,
and just float above the distant lands.

And. Just. Float.

This is intuition.

Today I thought about the world and how little we came from.

thoughts

There has to be a God.

There's got to be something that understands all.

Maybe God is just the idea of understanding it all, but even that exists somewhere in this multiverse.

Knowledge is crazy to me.

Especially knowledge of the idea that something can exist even though we don't perceive it, though we are born not understanding that.

Maybe humans have different strengths of realization of this simple concept. The point at which we suddenly understand that just because something goes out of sight, it is still there.

Maybe those who are weak are happy.

Maybe those who are strong are intuitive.

Let's fucking paint.

What I have found.

Today I'm looking at life as a series of journeys to treasures unknown.

In the last month of so of being home, I have found many, many things that I wish to share.

In my life, I will find more things

And in my life, I will wish to share.

I wish to share.

I have found knowledge. As children, we are bound by confines of finite understanding no less than we are now, but we lack perception of such confines and can thus not further our knowledge with that filter. When we are children, things are true, or untrue. Black and white.

And it is only when we understand the greyscale and all the colors of the rainbow that we can begin to learn.

I have found humility. The bounty of knowledge is impressive, vast, powerful, but mostly humbling. Through discovering how few things I know, and how few ways I know them, I have come to realize that I'm a speck of sand on the oceanside.

I have found security. I can adapt and be happy without most things in my life, provided I continue to suppress the adaptations to having them. I don't need to look down. I don't need to judge. I'm better than that.

I've found harmony. It is interesting to draw the parallel between my style of music creation and my interactional tendencies with people. I find myself drawing certain aspects more out of myself depending on the environment I am. I am multifaceted and multi-interested. My way of living is harmony.

I will create. I will experience. I will share. I will learn. I will grow. I will love and be loved.